Conflict

Problems occur when a split is apparent in our world view.  Our brain encompasses two conflicting ideas.  We have some view of reality, the way things really are, and simultaneously the peculiar feeling that things should be a different way.

We are torn, and this confusion can not last for long.  Which leads us to one of three choices:

1 • Delusional Cynicism

In this scenario we ignore our feelings for how things should be, and we force ourselves to focus on reality as it is, conforming our desires to whatever can be offered by that current reality.

Of course, in this case, constant denial of any romanticized ideals is necessary to maintain the illusion of a cohesion.  However, denying them doesn’t reduce their power, which results in being consumed by ideals that we claim we don’t believe in.

Success is easily assured, because goals are altered to meet whatever reality serves up.  This is usually referred to as, “being realistic,” but it’s actually self-deception for the purpose of eliminating conflict. The result is depressing and repressed thought and action, full of compromises.  Once we’ve compromised our vision of how things should be, where do we stop?

2 • Delusional Idealist

Another solution is to completely ignore reality and focus all your mental energy on the way things should be, steering desire towards the ideal with a complete disregard for the external requirements needed to achieve these things.

This results in ineffective behavior based on unchallenged beliefs about how to go after what we want.  Reality is viewed as a frightening, dis-empowering force to be avoided at all cost in favor of an alternative, superior reality created by the self. From this framework success can be achieved, but often it is only in our heads.  Some philosophies suggest that success comes to those who already believe they have it, in which case, I wonder if reality is even necessary to begin with.

Any questioning of success is termed “negative energy” and failure is a result of one’s own doubt, therefore it is quite natural for someone to go from a state of delusional idealism to delusional cynicism.  After all, if they failed, it’s all their fault for not thinking properly.  Self empowerment quickly turns into learned helplessness, and at this point cynicism seems like the more desirable option.

The unspoken message with this outlook is that life is a battle between your own mind and reality. Which one wins depends upon which one has the louder theme song.

3 • Healthy Awareness

Finally we have healthy awareness.  You have an understanding of what reality affords, and an understanding of why it is that way.

From this perspective of awareness, you understand what desires will be fulfilled by a certain activity, and what desires must be fulfilled from some other task, but you have no delusions over what an activity holds in store for you, nor do you tamp down your desires to try and obtain satisfaction from unsatisfying circumstances.

Once the causes are understood, there is no separation between the reality of a situation and how it should be.  And when that connection is obvious there is no point in doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.  A new path is required, and someone with a healthy awareness is certainly capable of finding it.

Wow that ended happily didn’t it?  Who would have thought shit was so simple.

Anyways, I’ve written this in harsher language than I probably should have, partially because its easier to write that way, and partially cause Its midnight and I’m hopped up on caffeine and an empty stomach.  It’s also poorly written -with gaping holes- for the same reason.

I feel I must add a disclaimer:

I think it’s perfectly cool to use affirmations, visualizations, the secret, whatever works, but only if it comes from a position of healthy awareness.  Otherwise you can end up permanently losing your perspective of reality and you end up directing a film about lesbian vampires and everyone ends up hating you when you completely fail them due to your complete disconnection with what is happening outside your head.

Unless you’re that guy, do not take offense, and let me know what you think below.  I’m always open to tweaking things. This is a newly formed theory.  It still has new theory smell.