Moments ago, I was walking down the street and saw a cute girl standing in my path, staring at me, smiling warmly. As I approached I noticed she was holding her hand out to me. I smiled with curiosity. Looking at her hand and she held a leaf between her fingers. I decided to play long. I gave her a look, and she returned the look with the slightest nod. I picked the leaf from between her fingers, looked at her a moment. “Thank you.” I replied, The first words of the interaction. “You’re welcome.” She replied.  We parted ways, and I walked off, but not before giving a nervous laugh to break the tension.

A nervous laugh is a way to escape from social tension. To bring humor back to the situation, to allay seriousness, and create a comfortable mood. Whenever a situation contains an incongruity between whats going on in our heads and what’s happening in reality, tension is created. 2 things can happen at that point:

1. You can shatter the tension by attempting to correct the lack of congruity or
2. you can pull on the tension, stretching it, using it to heighten emotions, and create excitement.

This is the essence of social tension, sexual tension, joke tension, goal tension, and dramatic tension.

Imagine:

• …watching a film which resolves intriguing plot lines immediately after presenting them.
• …watching comedian that laughs immediately after telling a joke, or tells a joke too soon.
• …going on a date that never slips into innuendo and undertones.
• …observing an entrepreneur getting bored and abandoning a product before it’s finished.

In all of these cases, tension has not been used to any advantage. Instead it has been pushed away, eliminated, given up in favor of a more comfortable emotional environment.

It’s our ability to not just tolerate tension but heighten it that makes life exciting, and gives us motivation and drive. It’s the difference between standing on a tightrope 1000 feet in the air, or 5 inches from the ground.

We all have different levels of comfort with tension, and we all have methods for getting ourselves out of it prematurely.

How much tension can you stand? What is your nervous laugh?